Soul Switcher
by crazyroninchic
Summary: Ferrets! Fooddeprivation! Major Headaches! Cute bishies! Amnesia! Chicken...Does any of this make sense? Of course not. Atleast, not until you read this extremely weird and random little ficcy! Enjoy!...COMPLETE
1. Losing brain cells

Disclaimer: I don't own Ronin Warriors or Inuyasha or Exel Saga...or souls, for that matter...or DO I? ... Anyway, don't mind this strange little ficcy! I had fun.

Soul Switcher

By Crazyroninchic

Atsune's weary blue eyes followed the type across the computer screen, scanning what she had just written.

"It's...good..." she said, eyebrows furrowed. "...but it could be better!" she resumed her typing, and was interrupted again by her eye wandering to the clock that stood next to her computer on the desk.

"HOLY SON OF MY MOTHER'S SISTER'S FIFTH COUSIN'S RECENTLY DIVORCED—" Atsune broke off to take a breath. "...Where was I? Oh well...WOW! It's eleven o'clock at night! I haven't eaten dinner yet! I'm so hungry, I could eat this mouse..." she said, staring down for the longest time at the computer mouse that her hand rested on. Just as one would begin to assume she had slipped into a food-deprivation-induced coma, our heroine snaps to attention. "WHY YES MIROKU I WILL BEAR YOUR CHILD!!" Atsune stares at the screen with a glazed look in her eye, not realizing that she had just dozed off and had a yummy dream about a certain houshi-sama...

She had been startled out of her reverie by the appearance of a small, white ferret, which jumped onto her desk and stared at her. "Squeeek?"

"Yeah, yeah, Sadie. I know, I know...Atsune no baka! I WOULD forget to buy food..."

"Squeeeeeek!!"

"HEY! Leave my mother out of this!" Atsune growled at Sadie. "Well, ya little rat, just for that, you're going on my rant page!"

While Atsune logged onto her website and began to bitch about her annoying pet ferret that talked smack about her mom in the rants section, said ferret scampered off to find some food. She threw one last look over her furry little shoulder at her so-called master (if you're smarter than the person who owns you, aren't you technically the master?). Boy, if looks could kill, Atsune would be fried on the spot.

Fried...

Fried chicken...

Mmm...chicken...

Atsune grumbled something about sadistic fanfic writers as she shut off her computer.

Wandering aimlessly into the kitchen, she gives an unsure glance at the backside of her ferret, digging through the cabinets desperately.

"There's no food, Sadie..." Atsune said, looking deadpan. The lights flickered and then went out. "Aaaaaand no power."

Atsune grabbed Sadie and looked her in the eye, which was hard since there was no light...so they were all of three millimeters away...

"Suddenly I am very afraid for my life..."

Sadie was ignoring her, too busy having a mental debate on whether or not her 'master' tastes good, said girl's nose looking mighty appetizing.

Atsune was feeling the same way about Sadie...

'Hmm...ferret...that would be a new experience...I almost NEVER get hungry enough to eat a ferret...hmm...I am reminded of Exel Saga...'

An awkward silence reined over the room.

Sadie, sensing the impending doom, scurried off, with Atsune hot on her...tail...

"Come back you wee little nibble! Mama Atsune just wants to talk to you!"

Atsune suddenly felt her foot wrenched by something hard, and found her face meeting the floor extremely quickly. Everything went black, just as she mumbled her final words...

"Yes I would like fries with that..."

* * *

Atsune's eyes cracked open, and snapped shut almost immediately, due to the glare of sunlight in her eyes.

"Nnnnn...what the heck happened?" she mumbled. Lifting her head painfully, she found herself sitting at a nice desk, with papers scattered all over. White suddenly filled her vision, and she realized a piece of paper was stuck to her forehead. Atsune reached up to pull it off, and noticed her sleeve was now pink.

Huh? My shirt is blue, and short sleeved... 

She glanced down at herself and froze.

"Oh hell no."

Her blue T-shirt was now a pink sweater, and her jeans had been replaced with uncomfortably high blue shorts and blue knee-highs.

Paper still clinging to her forehead, she dashed to the mirror in the room she occupied. Halfway there, she froze again, staring at her surroundings.

"Where the crap am I?" Receiving no answer, Atsune shrugged and resumed hauling ass to the mirror.

A girl wearing said outfit stared back at her. She also had waist-length auburn hair and bright green eyes.

"WHAT IS EFFING GOING ON?!"

At her screams, someone ran into the room. Atsune was too distraught to notice.

"Mia!"

Atsune turned. "You talking to me?" She eeped as she found herself staring at a delicious-looking bishounen. He had raven black hair and beautiful blue eyes. Trying to control the blush creeping onto her cheeks, she tried to play it cool. "Who's this Mia person?"

Instantly the young man was at her side. "Do you have amnesia?" he gasped, grasping her hands. "Do you remember me?" Atsune was so busy getting lost in his eyes, she almost missed that last comment.

"Uhh...no...who are you?"

"SAGE!!!" the boy yelled, so loud Atsune winced. The desperate tone of his voice made her think she said something wrong. Was she SUPPOSED to know him?

The person called for ran into the room quickly. He had a head of ...poofy... blonde hair and light violet eyes. He scanned the room anxiously and when he saw no threat, relaxed. "What is it, Ryo?" He didn't seem to notice the fact that 'Mia' was drooling slightly at him...

"It's Mia. She-"

Sage was in front of her before she can blink, with a hand on her forehead. "Is she sick?" Atsune blushed.

"I think she has amnesia! She doesn't know who she is, she doesn't remember me..."

Concern filled Sage's face. "Are you sure?"

"Mia isn't exactly one to play jokes like this!"

Atsune, who had been looking around the room, not paying attention, looked back to see them both staring worriedly at her. She blushed again.

Sage called three other guys into the room. The first was tall and had blue hair and blue eyes. The second had auburn hair like herself, and sea green eyes. The third was more solidly built than the others, with grayish-blue hair and brown (?) eyes. By the time all three were in the room, Atsune was beet-red.

She also wasn't prepared for a large white tiger to trot into the room like he belonged...which he did, but she didn't know that...

"MOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!! DON'T LET IT EAT ME!!!!!!!!"

"Mia! It's White Blaze!! He won't hurt you! Ryo, what's wrong with her?!" Kento yelled.

"Mia, what's going on?" Cye said, approaching slowly.

Atsune blinked. "WAI!!! He's a Brit!!" she squealed, pinching his cheek.

"Okay, that's definitely not Mia..." Kento said.

"We think she has amnesia...or something..." Sage said, looking over at Rowen for his opinion.

Said genius was deep in thought. "Mia...do you remember anything about yourself?"

Atsune rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently. "I know EVERYTHING about myself. I'm just not this 'Mia' person you five keep babbling about. My name is Atsune."

They stared at her like she had just sprouted tentacles.

"What?! I'm not crazy! I mean, I don't know how this happened...but I know I'm not Mia...I swear! I don't usually look like this!"

She glanced at their blank looks, getting frustrated. "This is a load of shit!"

"Yeah, that's not Mia." Ryo said decidedly. He turned to her. "We believe you, Miss...Atsune, you said?"

"Hai." She nodded.

"So, how did you get here?" Cye asked.

"Welllll...I remember being hungry last night and chasing Sadie around, then tripping and hitting my head and blacking out..."

Rowen raised his eyebrows. "Who's Sadie?"

"My ferret..."

"You were going to eat her?!" Sage asked incredulously.

"Maybeeeee..."

"Well, then would you like something to eat? It's about 2:00, time for Kento's fifth lunch." Ryo said, a smirk slowly spreading over his face.

"Ano...Sure!" Atsune sniggered at the furious look on Kento's face.

While she was snacking, the other five began to discuss possible explanations for what was going on.

"Maybe they switched souls..." Kento offered.

They nearly laughed him out of the kitchen.

Only Rowen was silent. "Kento," he said thoughtfully. "You may be on to something..."

The others froze, and Kento triumphantly jammed a sandwich into his mouth. "I'm not a COMPLETE idiot, see?"

"Yeah, some parts are missing!" Ryo grinned.

Atsune looked deadpan. "So Ryo's the wise ass of the group, huh?"

The others laughed as Ryo turned as red as his armor.

"Soo...how do I go about getting my own body back?" Atsune asked, looking around.

"Well, maybe hitting your head again would reverse the effect...but we don't want you to get hurt..." Rowen said.

She sighed. "I don't wanna be stuck like this!"

She stood to bring her plate to the sink, and slipped on a small puddle of spilled ketchup. Her head smashed into the counter and her body hit the floor with a dull thump.

"Mia!!" Sage yelled. "I mean Atsune! I mean...WHATEVER!!!"

The five of them rushed over.

* * *

Atsune cracked her eyes open._ Woah. Déjà vu. Freaky._

She lay still wallowing in pain, which was throbbing from her forehead. Then she noticed the strand of turquoise hair laying over her eye and impending her vision slightly. She screamed.

Leaping up to check herself in the mirror, she squealed to find herself back to normal.

"LOOKIE! I'M ANIMATED!!! Damn, I'm hot...WHEE!!!"

Atsune now wore a black baby tee with the phrase "RACK3D" in green lettering (This is from Megatokyo! All rights reserved or whatever! I just don't own it!), as well as a pair of jeans.

Yuli entered, having snuck away from the boys to sneak a peek at this 'Atsune' girl who was in Mia's body. He opened the door slowly.

A very strange girl with long turquoise hair and big blue eyes was gibbering away in front of the mirror.

Their eyes met.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

What, did you expect, "Well, hello there, nice to meet you." or something like that? Why be boring when you can have CAPITAL LETTERS and lots of ex!amation points!!!!! You people obviously don't know me very well...

"BLOODY HELL, Yuli!!!!! I told you to leave her alone!!" Cye hollered, coming up the stairs. He froze at the doorway when he spotted the new and improved (well not really) Atsune before him.

"At...su...ne..." He blushed.

She looked over at him and smiled.

* * *

Oohh...a SLIGHT cliffhanger...my desperate attempt to get you all to come back when I update...PLEASE REVIEW!!! It makes my day.... Happyhappyhappy... 


	2. Flying Applesauce and Shiny Dead Warlord...

Chappy numero dos!

"Uhh…Atsune-chan…you certainly look different…" Cye blushed.

"Is that…a good thing…or a bad thing?" she asked warily.

"GOOD! I mean…good…"

"Yeah, cause no offense to your friend Mia, but she was kinda fashion-challenged…"

Cye chose to ignore that, and firmly grabbed her wrist and gently…well, dragged for lack of a better word, her downstairs.

The others looked up to see Cye enter the room, pulling a strange girl who was gibbering about something that didn't make any sense. Obviously.

"Atsune, I presume?" Rowen asked with an amused look on his face.

Atsune gave him a smacking kiss on his cheek, leaving little boy blue quite dumbstruck. "You can bet your ass I am!" she beamed.

The others were staring, and the…turquoise-haired girl got very uncomfortable. She fidgeted under their gaze, and contemplated how to get away. She decided to go with the time-tested method:

"LOOK! FLYING APPLESAUCE!" she exclaimed, pointing behind them. All six of them whirled, wondering what the hell she was talking about. "Zoinks," she giggled, and dashed back upstairs, leaving the Ronins and Yuli staring at the wall like idiots.

Halfway down the hall, something big and hard suddenly blocked her path, and she fell back onto her ass. And no, she isn't stupid enough to run into a wall. Sure enough, as she looked up, Atsune found herself staring into an amused pair of eyes. They belonged to a studly dude with crimson hair and a weird outfit. Know who it is, yet?

Dun, dun, DUN!

"Well, looks like the Ronins have a new guest…" he laughed, offering her a hand to help her up.

"Duhhhh…" Atsune's brain had short-circuited at the sight of the should-be-dead-but-isn't, former-dark-warlord-turned-monk. He was pretty, can you blame her.

"Atsune!" she turned her head to see Sage standing there. Obviously they had finally smartened up and come to look for her. The others were behind Sage.

"Shiny…" was all she could say as she pointed at Anubis.

They followed her gesture and were astonished to see their "dead" "friend" standing there. And he was indeed shiny. And wearing the Ancient's clothes still.

"What…" Cye started.

"…the hell." Kento finished for him.


	3. Lactose intolerance is a beyotch

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers! I was rereading this story and was like, MAN, it has no plot, and is just humor and nothing but. So updating really shouldn't take as long. So here is another chapter, and thank you times a gazillion for putting up with me.

Anywho, in this chapter, Atsune's love of LotR is revealed. Bear with me, I'm so obsessed, and it's only mentioned several times. Oh, a little language in this chapter. You have been warned! .

Chapter Three (Number of Working Brain Cells In Atsune's Head)

Anubis and the others settled in the living room, and Cye passed out tea for everyone.

"Sooo…Anubis…" Kento said slowly, unsurely. "What brings you back to life?"

Rowen smacked him upside the head. Atsune sat beside him, staring at Anubis. He intrigued her. But then again, shiny pennies intrigued her, so that didn't count for much…

"Oh, you know, being Ancient One, you pretty much don't have to go by the laws of nature…" Anubis replied, waving a hand dismissively. He glanced at Atsune and leaned over to Ryo. "Is she quite alright?"

Ryo had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "Sometimes we wonder."

"Sometimes?" Sage added in, arching his eyebrow.

Atsune's eyes narrowed. "Shove it," she muttered.

This time it was Anubis's turn to stifle a laugh. "So, where's Mia, anyway?"

Everyone turned simultaneously to look at Atsune. And we all know how she hates being under the spotlight.

She began to writhe uncontrollably. "The stares, they burns us, precioussss!"

Now everyone was DEFINITELY staring at her.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME, DAMN IT!"

"Yeah, we think she and Mia switched places…" Rowen explained.

"Wait, what? Does that mean Mia's in my place?" Atsune suddenly looked horrified. "Nooooo! People are gonna think I'm a loser!"

"Well, if you look like yourself, she probably does too," Kento offered as means of comfort.

"I'm going to ignore that loser comment," Ryo smirked.

"I have a reputation to uphold!" Atsune declared, slamming a fist down on the arm of the chair. "If I start prancing around in cardigans and armpit-high shorts, people will look at me as a geek instead of a obsessive lactose intolerant homicidal crazy person!"

"You're lactose intolerant?" Cye asked nervously. She nodded. "You do know there's milk in that tea, right?" he gulped.

Atsune froze, and then slowly opened her mouth so all the tea she was about to swallow drained back out. Her voice went dangerously low. "Who flippin' puts milk in tea? WHY DON'T YOU JUST FEED ME A LAXATIVE AND SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE!"

Cye winced as she began to run around the house, freaking out. "What are the symptoms of lactose intolerance?" he asked Rowen.

"Um, nausea…diarrhea…cramps…But it depends on HOW allergic she is…"

She seized onto Kento's shirt collar. "I am VERY allergic. I'm fucked. But if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me!"

Kento laughed nervously.

She shook him lightly. "I'm glad my predicament is so funny to you! Hey, why are there two of you?"

"Huh?"

"And why is the room spinning?"

"Um, it's not?"

"Someone turn down the heat, I'm roasting!"

"It's 50 degrees in here…"

"Quiero a mi mama…" (I want my mommy) Then she passed out.

Cye rushed over. "She has a fever!"

Her hand suddenly shot up and grabbed his. She pulled his arm down and began to cuddle it like a teddy bear.

Ryo shook his head. "She's not unconscious, just asleep,"

They laid her on the couch, and for the next four hours, had to put up with her delirium.

"Ohh…the squirrels are coming! …………..Oh no, someone stole the lake!………………. Why, Legolas, of course I'd like to dance………….…we aren't in Kansas anymore Toto………..…but why is the rum gone?…………..bloody pirates……………that's a nice bologna peg leg…"

And so on and so forth.

Sage, who's turn it was to watch over her, had developed a nice little twitch.

Ryo came over to relieve him of his…duties.

Sage stood slowly. "Don't EVER make me do that again, or I will be ripping out someone's vocal cords! And you are unfortunately close, Sanada."

Ryo stared wide-eyed at him. Sage never lost his calm like that.

"Uh, why don't you go sit under a waterfall or something, kay buddy?" Ryo suggested timidly. "Or you could use Kento's punching bag…"

Sage got a devilish glint in his eyes. "Hel-lo misplaced aggression!"

Ryo eeped as Sage stalked away. "What have I gotten myself into!"

Atsune turned over in her feverish sleep.

"But what about…second breakfast?" she mumbled in her sleep.

TBC…

I apologize to all those who have never read LotR or seen the movies. If you haven't, my advice: Do so!

Don't mind me, I'm—

Atsune: Freakishly obsessed?

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Atsune: Crazy?

Well, I made you up, didn't I?

Atsune: Yeah. (pause) HEY!


	4. Trip to the Bathroom

I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I don't have any time or inspiration. Hopefully there will be more soon…

Chapter Four

Atsune's mind-trips/seemingly drug-induced dreams were about to come to an end. By this time her body was screaming in protest at being still so long. For someone on an eternal sugar high, laying immobile for two hours was pure torture. Not to mention unnatural.

Atsune groaned and opened her eyes to see that Anubis was on watch. She blinked blearily at him.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

She shook her head, than her eyes widened and she turned a lovely shade of green. She clapped a hand over her mouth and leapt from the sofa, landing ten feet away and sprinting to the bathroom.

Anubis sat gaping, his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. He looked like a dying fish. So when the others walked in, they all had themselves a nice laugh at Nubi's expense. Until…

"Woah, do NOT go in there!" Atsune emptied the whole can of air freshener into the bathroom and slammed the door. All the color drained out of Cye's face as he realized that, whatever it was, HE would be cleaning it up.

"Are you alright now?" Sage asked, getting over the initial shock.

"Yeah! And now I'm hyper!"

"More than usual?" Kento mumbled.

"Oh, you saw me at my most sedate…" Atsune said, cocking her head and smiling.

Insert mental screams of agony here.

Atsune bounced outside and scampered up a tree. Rowen wandered outside after her, trying to find Atsune before she did something disastrous.

She jumped out of the tree, intent on pouncing on him. Luckily for Rowen, his senses were very good, and he whirled and caught her in his arms. Ryo was standing in the doorway, scratching White Blaze behind the ear.

"Rowen, you dog." He grinned.

"Ryo, do us all a favor and shut the hell up." Atsune shot back.

Ryo pressed a hand over his heart like one mortally stricken. "I'm hurt! I may never recover!"


	5. Causer of Chaos

I don't own Ronin Warriors (that'd be nice) or Gollum.

Chapter Five

"This place is so much more fun than back home!" Atsune squealed.

Cye glanced up. "We're eating sandwiches." He said slowly.

"Yeah, exactly!"

"Do you sit staring at the wall all day or something?" Kento laughed.

Atsune coughed. "Of course not….I stare at the CEILING all day."

There was an awkward silence.

"So…" Atsune mused. "Sandwiches! What a great cook you are, Cye! How fitting with every Ronin Warrior fanfic cliché!"

Everyone glanced at each other as she continued to babble on like a maniac.

Kayura appeared suddenly, and Ryo fell out of his chair in surprise.

"Haha, that was funny." Atsune chattered. "Serves you right for that last comment you made, you can be such a dork sometimes—"

She continued off on another tangent, and Sage offered Kayura some earplugs.

Kayura waved his hand away. "I have news from Atsune's world."

Said girl stopped talking in favor (and to the great relief of the others) of listening.

"Mass chaos!"

"Excellent." Atsune laughed evilly.

"Your friends met Mia in your body, and they started rioting!"

"That goody-two-shoes! My rep! It burnssssss!"

"Even once she gained her usual appearance, they started throwing stuff at her and calling her a 'demon shape-shifting witch that killed Atsune and took over her form'!"

Atsune sighed. "That's my buddies!"

The Ronins were looking horrified. "Poor Mia!"

"I guess I have to go home now, huh?" Atsune pouted.

Kayura had her hands on her hips. "Preferably sooner rather than later. Or you'll go home to find your town burnt to the ground."

"We do that on a regular basis anyway."

Kayura opened her mouth to respond, and then realized what she just said. "You're crazy."

"No! I'm perfectly sane! Preciousssssss…"

"Okay, you need to leave before you destroy THIS world also." Rowen said.

"But…but! I'll miss the shiny ex-warlords and the wacky hair colors, shapes, and sizes!" she shot Sage a pointed look. "And the MULLETSSSSS!" she clawed at Ryo's sleeve, then paused in thought. "Actually, no, I could live without those."

"Yeah…" Ryo agreed. Then, "…HEY!"

Cye just rolled his eyes. "I'll be angry about that later.

"Oh well." Atsune said, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I've already been enough of a Sue as it is!"

Cye bit his tongue to keep from adding in the phrase 'overstayed your welcome also.'

"NEVER FORGET ME, ATSUNE, CAUSER OF CHAOS AND HATER OF MILK!"

More to shut her up than anything, Kayura waved her staff and sent her home.

"Be sure to bring Mia back right away," Rowen said. "I'd hate to think what would happen if Atsune were to meet her."

Mia appeared in the seat Atsune had just vacated. "Woah. I think I need some therapy, or I'll forever have a fear of flying objects…"

Atsune landed on her computer chair. Sadie the ferret let out a squeak of surprise and scurried under the bed. If ferrets could talk, she would be lamenting about the return of her sadistic owner.

"Well…" Atsune mumbled, turning to her computer. "That was weird."

END


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